(In your best ring master voice)
We are in for a treat, our one and only education secretary has many opponents willing to take her on. Tonight she faces her biggest threat…
In the red corner we have Nicky Morgan, education secretary, helper of the disadvantaged, leader of the new deal for teachers and in the blue corner we have Nicky Morgan, figurehead for British values, inspiration to all back trackers everywhere!
Red corner Nicky comes out swinging with an interview where she takes the strong view point of “We are NOT going to say every school must be an academy”(4:11) followed quickly by “we want schools to make decisions for themselves (4:39)”, this is swiftly countered by Blue corner Nicky jumping in with her white paper which forces all schools into academy status, for their own good (9:28)!
Oh but Red corner Nicky isn’t done. She packs a punch with her quote that “Parental choice is a large part of our system. We will listen to parents.”(0:29) Blue Nicky isn’t down yet she counters with “The system takes too long, listening to parents and taking appeals, we are putting a stop to that!” (paraphrased)
Moving on from the academy debate Red corner Nicky insists “We will not have a selective system (47:21).” But Blue corner Nicky is over there sliding in a lovely new grammar school and she follows it up in quick succession, with her academies being about to select their own pupils!
Wow it’s an exciting fight this one! Blue corner Nicky launches an attack with the number of state schools (0:33) in special measures, Red corner Nicky caught off guard is unable to counter (1:50) in the same interview, she fumbles around when asked how many academies are failing….. “erm, errr, I’m not going to go into that, I don’t need to discuss numbers…” Oh dear, tut, tut Red corner!
Red Nicky isn’t out for the count yet, she has another trick up her sleeve with the SATs. Red Nicky thinks testing 7 year olds (0:40) is the way to make them smarter! She believes it is the best step forward! Bravo Red corner Nicky, I don’t know how Blue corner Nicky will counter that! Oh there she is! With her quote on how testing isn’t going to make children brighter "teach them in the way they learn best!" (2:26) Yep that was a solid hit there!
It seems that whatever happens, a Nicky is going to be on the ropes tonight… Is it any wonder you were laughed off stage?